Category Archives: Being Awesome

First Officiating Experience

As some of you may be aware, recently I had the distinct pleasure of “officiating” (read: asian officiating, as in the bride and groom already signed papers, I’m not religious, and basically I got asked to go up and tell jokes about love) the wedding of a good friend and co-worker. I was extremely honored with the opportunity to be such an integral part of such a beautiful day and, in some regards, want to share some of that moment with you here.

Now, overall this is going to read a lot better than it sounded, since you don’t have me getting all nervous (yes, I still get nervous in public occasions – I probably shouldn’t have been so polite with the champagne) and rapping through the speech like a madman. In any case, prepare yourself for some bad math jokes (in two languages!):

Ladies and gentleman, please get seated. The captain has turned on the fasten the seat belt sign. At this time, we request that all mobile phones and pagers be put on silent for the remainder of the ceremony. Should you need assistance, if you have a mobile phone, your neighbor should be able to aid you. If you have a pager, please come see us and we will find you the nearest time machine to the 1980s. Thank you.

We are gathered here today celebrate the marriage of Prizilla and Neville. If you are not here for that reason, you probably missed the first turn to the golf course down the road. In any case, for all of those who have come to witness (and for all those who don’t want to admit they are lost), on behalf of the bride and the groom, I would like to thank you for joining us at such a momentous day. As French author Marcel Proust once said, “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy, for they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” You are the people who make Prizilla and Neville’s souls blossom. They are extremely happy to have you here to be a part of this enchanted evening.

As many of you may be aware, the Supreme Court recently has helped us further define the concept of marriage. However, regardless of our opinions on that, I think we can all agree that the concept of love is not ambiguous. Take a look at the person you came with, take a look at your kids (and if you don’t have kids or came alone, take a good look at all the money in your wallet). Love is the mutual understanding, just from that short glimpse, that the best thing to hold onto in life is each other. That’s why you both are standing here. That’s why you all are here to watch them stand up here. It is precisely moments like this that we are reminded that our love is the very best part of our humanity.

And marriage, well, marriage it the sum of that love. That love which one plus one is everything and two minus one is nothing. That love in which you cherish each other today more than yesterday and less than, well, less than or equal to, tomorrow. And that love in which you realize that what lies behind you and what lies before you is significantly smaller than what lies within you. Marriage is not a noun, it’s a verb; it’s not just this moment, it’s every moment; and it’s not simply falling in love, it’s as the limit of falling in love approaches infinity, all with the same person. 

今天我们来到此地,参加 Prizilla 和 Neville 的婚礼,是为了见证他们温馨奇妙的爱情,终于修成正果。 假如这不是你来的目的,那你有可能错过了去高尔夫球场的第一个转弯。 无论如何,我要代表新郎和新娘谢谢所有的嘉宾(包括哪些不想承认自己走错路的)能跟他们一起,度过他们一生中最具特别意义的美好时刻。 正如法国作家普鲁斯特说过的那样:“我们要感谢那些让我们快乐的人。 他们是培育我们心灵花朵的园丁。” 你们就是新郎、新娘的心目中的那个园丁和花匠。 很高兴有你们与我们共同度过如此美妙的夜晚。谢谢大家。

众所周知,最近联邦法院帮我们重新定义了婚姻这个概念。但是,不管你对此有何看法,我觉得我们都可以确定,爱情这个东西在我们心中不是模糊的。 看看跟你来的那个人,看看你的孩子(假如你没孩子或者是自己来的,好好看看你的钱包), 爱情就是在那一瞬间让我们决定相拥彼此一生的感觉。这就是他们俩今天站在这儿的理由,也是大家这么关注他们俩站在这儿的原因。 也正是因为这些时刻,我们反复的被提醒 : 爱情是我们一生中最美丽的信仰。

那婚姻呢,婚姻是爱情的美好归宿。那个爱情是一加一等于一切,而二减一意味着什么都没有。那个爱情也是那个让我们今天的互相珍惜大于以往而也小于(呃,小于等于)将来。那个爱情让我们明白昨天的毅力跟面对明天的勇气,永远会远远小于我们自己心中的华丽。 婚姻其实不是一个名词,而是一个动词; 它不是这一刻,而是每一刻; 它不是简简单单的爱上某个人,而是时时刻刻跟那个人坠入情网。

Neville and Prizilla, you fell in love by chance but you are here today by choice. You are about to make promises to each other to sanctify that choice. Neville, please repeat after me.

“I choose you, Prizilla, to be my wife, as my friend and love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future and to keep and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together, we will dream, and live as one while respecting one another, we will stumble but restore each other, we will share all things. I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as I shall live.”

 “I choose you, Neville, to be my husband, as my friend and love. On this day I affirm the relationship we have enjoyed, looking to the future and to keep and strengthen it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. Together, we will dream, and live as one while respecting one another, we will stumble but restore each other, we will share all things. I will cherish, comfort, and encourage you, be open with you, and stay with you as long as I shall live.”

Neville, as you place the ring on Prizilla’s finger, please repeat after me:

Prizilla, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love.

Prizilla, as you place the ring on Neville’s finger, please repeat after me:

Neville, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love.

And now by the power vested in me by the laws of California and the greater laws of mathematics, I pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride!

Also, bonus picture of the bride and groom + me + obligatory double chin that comes out with all suits I wear.

Prizilla & Neville's Wedding

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A Treatise in Intern Development

2013:

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2014:

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From the floor to the hammock. You show ’em Senior Intern!

Shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So enough of this, I am going to shine through this suffocating darkness.

Mentorship

Proudest moment of this summer:

Zhu, Jessica 9:04 AM
my nb count
is
too
damn
high
Image

10 Post-Exam To Do’s

So now that the crazy spring exam season has ended, I think its time to make some plans to make the most of the short hiatus before the next one comes.

1) Restart P90X.

Okay, no more excuses about not being able to do it because I live in an apartment and someone lives below me. I definitely want to keep this one going. Lets do this.

2) Shift my work schedule from 7AM – 4PM

This is going to be pretty difficult as I have already gotten used to late night random pointless browsing on the internet. However, getting in early and leaving early is gonna do wonders for all the things I want to accomplish in this time.

3) Join the Concord Table Tennis Club

I seriously have been wanting to do this for a whole year now. I have no idea why I haven’t yet. I need to get out there and meet new people and play ping pong. Book it.

Oh yeah, now that I have a garage, time to get a ping pong table. Woo.

4) Play more basketball

I want to join a league or something. Or maybe find a place near my house where I can play randomly at night. Or maybe figure out how I can put up a hoop in my backyard.

5) Work more

Yes, this might sound crazy, but I definitely want to work more. We’re going through new product development at work (which happens maybe 1 in every 10-20 years in an insurance company) and I definitely want to do as much as I can. Furthermore, it is fairly rare when your vision for the product’s future aligns with that of upper management – so now its time to take that support and run with it and make something great.

6) Study more frequently

Because unanticipated events = GG

7)  Get a dog

Can’t let that “huge” hill backyard go to waste!

My mom’s take on this: “Don’t get a dog! Its such a huge time commitment and so expensive! You should go to Berkeley on the weekends and get a girlfriend!” Since when did girlfriends become cheaper than dogs?

8) Read

Read books, read magazines, read the new yorker, read the economist, read self-help books, read statistics textbooks, read actuarial research papers, read whatever. I feel like I’m missing out on so much information by not getting in the habit of just reading 40-50 pages each day.

9)  Explore more

Now that I know I’m staying put for the next couple of years, time to figure out whats around me. While on the surface it seems like this is just boring old suburbia, there are actually so many things to do around here. That, coupled with convenient transportation around the bay = ADVENTURE TIME.

10) Decorate my place

Furniture, designs, yardwork, etc etc. This is going to be a long project, but I think its time to get started.

The Most Epic Draw Something

So while studying for my next actuarial exam earlier tonight, I got kinda bored and decided to mess around a bit on draw something. After a friend drew a hilarious rendition of Kobe, I decided to counter back with one of my own (re-enacted in paint):

Hmmm… bowl? Upside down cave?

Ohhhh boat! Yacht! Hmmm.. no “Y”. Sail?

Ocean? Sea? Nautical?!

Sun! Sunny! FDAGDGADF

Whats that purple dot? Can’t mean anything…

Magnify? What in the world is going on.

Oh. Eggplant. Makes sense.

It was even funnier watching her guess.

EGGPLANN

Nope.

EGGPLAN-

Yes, yes; good move, good move.

EGGPLA–

T_T

EGGPLAN-

^_^

EGGPLANN

-____-

Why the AAA Property Team is so awesome

So this came about after I decided that I was going to wear a tie everyday to work for the hell of it:

I think we can all agree that the gentleman in the yellow had the best “funny” face. Upon voting and being told this, his reply was:

I’m not sure how I feel about “winning” the funny face contest!?  Possible explanations for the expression on my face might include:

– That’s not my funny face.  That’s my regular face.  Regular just looks funny where my face is concerned.

– Does it worry anybody else that I look horrified and Mustafa looks happy?  Is there a correlation?

– Did anyone else see Mustafa’s monkey slap me across the face right before the picture was snapped?

– That expression is the expression I had on my face this morning when I read Mustafa’s note about Alen being out of the office today.

– That expression is the expression I always have on my face when Christian’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

ps:  I had no idea that Amrita belonged to a gang.  Until today.

pps:  My thanks to all who wore ties today!  It was fun to join forces and Windsor knots to pull a prank on Alen … even if he wasn’t here to enjoy it.

Thank you,
Kimball

Oh yeah, by the way, Kimball is the Property Team Executive.

Man, the things you miss when you take a day off to study.

This is Why You Don’t Set Future Drink-Offs While Drunk

Rules found in a text file named “20120511rulescindylincannotbackout.txt” on my office computer:

Cindy promises to get Lu to pay.
Lin wants to bring husband.
Cindy will bring Dave just in case Lu does not pay.
Ray will bring other Dave
Wei will bring 3rd Dave.
Mustafa will watch the show with Vivian (Luna’s ex-roommate)
“Dave” or Lu will pay
Girls and Guys are equal
Cindy notes thats Alen is sweating.
(Loser or Lu) pays.
Lin warns Alen of possibility of selling house
Alen warns Cindy of possibility of having significant lump sum to pay.
Lin will most likely pay (see is from inner mongolian <<<<<< real mongolian)
Lin will bring Mao Tai.
Lin requests contingencies, Alen disagrees. Cindy needs dictionary. Alen sucks.

Major Grocery Victory

So while shopping for groceries today, i discovered that 空心菜 is finally back in season!

While cooking it usually has a pretty tedious prep process (remove all the leaves from stems), it can be made into 2 dishes quite easily! You can cook the leaves with diced garlic for the traditional 蒜蓉空心菜 and then dice the stems and add some 豆豉辣椒 for a pretty traditional 湖南豆豉辣椒空心菜根  (creative naming, right?). I think I’ve just found my food for the next couple of lunches at work.

To add on top of that, I just found out that the local Korean market sells eel! Some say that 99 ranch has it too – but I have not yet been able to locate it (or at least in the one that’s close to me). Have been wanting to cook some unagi (and duck – but haven’t found a right time to do so yet). Dinner tonight:

番茄炒蛋 (tomato and eggs)
烤鳗鱼 (unagi)
Pan Seared Opah (don’t know how to translate “pan-seared” in chinese, haha. Opah = 月鱼)
苋菜汤 (Zen Choy soup)

Interesting note: For some reason, the storekeeper at the local Korean grocery market keeps offering me Yakult Yogurt when I’m paying for my stuff. I wonder if she just has an overstock of Yakult Yogurt that she wants me to buy from or if shes just using it as a retention tool. Either way, its working!

1:00AM Cooking

Product of my new late night cooking schedule (being an actuary is tough!):

Steamed Rice
Sauteed Swiss Chard
Pan Seared Opah
Cubed Steak with Mushrooms
Over-hard Eggs

You can’t really see much other than the steak and eggs, I guess you’ll just have to trust me on the rest 😛